


Star Trek Incorrect Quotes

by I_made_this_for_fun



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Incorrect Quotes, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:41:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29466666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_made_this_for_fun/pseuds/I_made_this_for_fun
Summary: Just some incorrect quotes put together as star trek characters.
Relationships: Gaila/Nyota Uhura, James T. Kirk/Spock, Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Montgomery "Scotty" Scott
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

Kirk: My boyfriend is to tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Scotty: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Jaylah: Tackle him.

Leonard: Dump him.

Nyota: Kick him in the shin.

Spock: NO TO ALL OF THOSE JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim: Why are you smiling?

Bones: What? Can't I just be happy?

Nyota: Spock tripped and fell out of the turbo lift.


	3. Chapter 3

Jim: Why are your tongues purple?  
Bones: We had slushies. I had a blue one.  
Scotty: I had a red one.  
Jim: oh  
Jim:   
Jim: OH  
Chekov:  
Chekov: You drank each others slushies?


	4. Chapter 4

Drunk Scotty: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!  
Drunk Scotty: *Throws water bottles*  
Spock: Uh...  
Bones: He's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.  
Scotty: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!  
Chekov: *Crying* It's working.


	5. Chapter 5

Spock: I can't believe we're stuck in this room together.  
Jim: *Swallowing the key* Truly unfortunate.


	6. Chapter 6

Jaylah: Hi welcome to Applebees, would you like apples or bees  
Jim: B-bees  
Jaylah: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES.  
Jim: W-wait-  
Scotty: *Walks in with a jar of bees*  
Jim: Wait-


	7. Chapter 7

Gaila: The food is too hot, I can't eat it.  
Nyota: You're too hot and I still eat you.  
Gaila: *Blushes*  
Nyota: *Winks at her*  
Bones: One dinner I just want ONE DINNER


	8. Chapter 8

Scotty: You okay.  
Bones: No I'm not doing so well.  
Bones: I have this headache that comes and goes.  
Spock: Morning doctor.  
Bones: Oh look there it is again.


	9. Chapter 9

Jim: I'm quick at maths.  
Spock: Okay, what's 38 times 76.  
Jim: 24.  
Spock: That's not even close.  
Jim: But it was quick.


	10. Chapter 10

Gaila: "Sleepy" is so much cuter than "Tired." everyone needs to stop saying "Tired" and start saying "Sleepy."  
Bones: I'm so sleepy of your voice.


	11. Chapter 11

Scotty: Alright, so you and I are married.  
Bones: We are not married.  
Scotty: Relax, it's just pretend.  
Bones: I don't wanna pretend.  
Scotty: Scared you'll like it.  
Bones: Okay, if we are married, I want a divorce.  
Spock: Are you two like this all the time?  
Jim: Yes, they are


	12. Chapter 12

Chekov: I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby.  
Scotty: What baby?  
Chekov: Me.


	13. Chapter 13

Jim: I'm gay.  
Spock: Water's wet. The captains hot. McCoy's a Doctor  
Jim: What?  
Spock: Sorry, I thought we were listing the obvious.  
Jim: You think I'm hot?


	14. Chapter 14

Jim: I hope you two have an explanation for this.  
Drunk Chekov: Vwe have tree actually  
Drunk Scotty: Pick yer fave


	15. Chapter 15

Jim: I could kill you if I wanted to  
Spock: Yeah? So could another human being.  
Jim: …   
Bones: So could a dog.  
Jim: …  
Scotty: Or a very dedicated duck.  
Jim: …  
Bones: You aren't special Jim.


	16. Chapter 16

Bones: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be.  
Nyota: Maybe a bit tipsy?  
Spock: Drunk  
Scotty: Wasted  
Jim: … Dead


	17. Chapter 17

Bones: Hello, people who don't live here.  
Jim: Hey  
Chekov: Hi!  
Nyota: Hello  
Scotty: Hey  
Bones: I gave you keys for emergencies  
Chekov: Vwe were out ov doritos


	18. Chapter 18

Scotty: How come ye give Chekov a knife.  
Jaylah: He felt unsafe.  
Scotty: Now I feel unsafe.  
Jaylah: I'm sorry.  
Jaylah: … Would you like a knife.  
Scotty: Aye ah would.


	19. Chapter 19

Scotty: *Screaming* I FIXED IT!!!  
Jaylah: What did you fix?  
Scotty: EVERYTHING!!  
*Loud explosion*  
Scotty: … Except that.


	20. Chapter 20

Jim: I DO WHAT I WANT!  
Spock: I'm calling Doctor McCoy.  
Jim: No wait.


	21. Chapter 21

Jim: Hey do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?  
Bones: You are a hazard to society.  
Scotty: And a coward. Do 20.


	22. Chapter 22

Spock: Good morning  
Nyota: Good morning  
Bones: Good morning  
Kirk: You all sound like robots, why don't you spice it up a bit   
Chekov and Scotty: MORNING MOTHERF**KERS!!!!


	23. Chapter 23

Alien: We have your son.  
Scotty: Ah dinnae have a son .  
Alien: So who here is asking for us to take of the crust from his sandwich.  
Scotty: Dear god ye have Chekov!


	24. Chapter 24

Kirk: What kind of candles do you have?  
Spock: The kind that catches on fire.  
Kirk: No like what flavour.  
Spock: *Smells lit candle* … Burnt.


	25. Chapter 25

Scotty: Ah have an idea bit ah will need yer permission.  
Kirk: Why would you need permission.  
Scotty: caus if it messes up ah dinnae want it tae only be mah fault.


	26. Chapter 26

Chekov: Guess what number I'm thinking of.  
Kirk: 420.  
Chekov: No, that's really immature of you. Someone else guess.  
Scotty: 69.  
Kirk: He literally just said-  
Chekov: Yeah, it was 69.  
Kirk: *Visible confusion*


	27. Chapter 27

Chekov, singing: DON'T GO BACON MY HEART!!  
Scotty, rounding the corner or the engine room at light speed: I COULDN'T IF I FRIED!!  
(Best buddies)


	28. Chapter 28

Bones: Can you not stand so close? you are making me claustrophobic.  
Chekov: What does that mean?  
Scotty: Means he's afraid of Santa Clause!  
Bones: No, it doesn't me-  
Chekov: HO HO HO *Giggles*  
Scotty: STOP IT PAVEL YOUR SCARING HIM!!!


	29. Chapter 29

Kirk: I was born a winner. I only took 7 months to be born rather than 9.  
Bones: That's... That's not good.


End file.
